Ways We Block Closeness

Here’s an example of my own journey of healing through the Ka Ta Se teachings.

Jumping to conclusions and holding expectations used to be something I did a lot.

I did it oh so well.

For instance, one day I was waiting for a friend of mine at a restaurant  who was late, as he often was. While I was waiting I practiced all the ways I would let him know how disrespectful he was of me and my time. I practiced saying these things in subtle ways that I hoped would make him feel bad.

The more I rehearsed and practiced making him wrong the more I believed the lies I was making up about his motive and intentions that day. And so the more I felt I had the right to let him know how wrong he was.

I had been so caught up in my story that I even forgot to create fears about the possibility of his being in a car accident or that he was really sick and forgot to call.

As it turned out, this time, he had a legitimate excuse. I had been so ready to wait for the perfect moment to correct him. My level of energy dropped in the effort to listen to or stop these thoughts and emotions I had rehearsed with such sureness about being right. I could feel that I was still looking for a chance to make him wrong. It interfered with my contributions to our conversation.

I lost the opportunity that day to experience fully the joy of our friendship.

What I know now from the Ka Ta See teachings is that every thought, word, emotion, belief that we carry inside of us is constantly being broadcast out into the world.

And when I’m thinking of a specific person or place, those thoughtforms the energies and information carried in our thoughts emotions and beliefs engage with the targeted person at least subconsciously. Sometimes this information even reaches a person’s conscious mind. Either way it has an impact on their lives.

I know now from experience that it is much more powerful to hold and therefore send images or thoughts, in this instance, of our friendship and what I appreciated about him. Or images of his being safe in traffic and grounded in his passions.


I could have spent my time paving the way for deeper communication between the two of us or simply engaging in things that gave me pleasure.

Each moment we get to choose how we spend our time and attention  our most precious possessions.


In The Ka Ta See tradition, the most effective way to do this is to train ourselves to feel the passion for living at any time.

This is a beautiful skill to develop. It gives us the ability to use our time and attention toward more easeful relationships, more fun attainment of our hopes and dreams and to help contribute to social foundations that create kindness for all.

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Its so much more powerful than holding in our hearts and minds images and pictures of judgments or fears.

At this time in my life I wasn’t able to stand back and see the way that we’ve learned in our culture to make up scenarios about situations or interactions and jump into them and live them in our mind as the truth and sometimes play them out in the presence of others.

But we do throw the scripts that we hold in our minds energetically to others sending thoughts and emotions into their field without their permission.

Wars often hold this kind of energy.

When we are sure that someone is doing something “wrong” often the problem is that we have been holding up pictures to them with instructions about how we think they should feel, think and act – we hold expectations.

And they are not paying attention!!

Its a way of pretending we are in control of the other person or the situation.

A combination of the clarity in the Ka Ta See teachings and learning the skills of unconditional love helped me discover that it was my blind belief about being powerless – that drove my desire to hold expectations and jump to conclusions.

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Powerlessness here meaning that I believed I was incapable of learning to choose where to place my attention and incapable of choosing to live from my passion for living – my Song as the Ka Ta See people say.

We humans are capable of these things.

In the traditional Ka Ta See Counseling that I provide, I help people learn to turn to their passion for living at will and to choose their contributions to each moment.

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